Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Shaking Ground

The ground is shaking in the area lately; a lot (and I mean A LOT) of earthquakes have rattled San Ramon. I don't like earthquakes at all; the unsteady ground, the not knowing when it's going to stop or what damage might happen or who will get hurt through it all - it's scary.

And it's a lot like life right now. It's shaky ground and I can't see around the corner to know when it will be stable again. And I don't like it, even more than I don't like earthquakes. I want to know when it will stop and how it is going to turn out, I want to know that it will be okay, I want to control the outcome, I don't want to get hurt and I want to understand why. But I can't. . .so I will wait.

My heart can feel like it's breaking in the midst of it all and the fear could be overwhelming. If not for God!

He speaks to my heart and reminds me He is here, that I'm not alone, that He will hold me until the shaking stops, and even then He will continue to hold me.

I don't understand and I don't know why certain things turn out the way they do. There's been a lot of loss in the last year. The pain has cut like a knife. Yet every step of the way He's led me, He's loved me and He's brought good and joy during the heartache.

I've also made a lot of mistakes in the midst of it all. I have let the fear speak louder than my faith. I have given into the emotions of the moment and wilted under the pain. I have been angry with God, with people, with the world. I have wanted to walk away from my faith because it feels too hard in the moment. But I have also loved and hoped and believed in a good God who has good plans. I have not given up and I put one step forward. Thankfully His grace carries me through.

I will lay my life on the only foundation that will always be solid and steady. Everything else may shake, crumble, even fall away, but God will be the same yesterday, today and forever.

"He only is my rock and my salvation, My Stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken." Psalm 62:2

When everything feels shaky, I will cling to what is steady and true. He knows what is around the corner and He knows when these "earthquakes" in my life will stop. So I kneel on bended knee and ask Him to help me learn to rest in Him during this time. To walk forward in faith, to help me trust Him even when everything around me is unsteady and not what I had planned.

"When all else is shaking ground, on Christ the solid rock I stand."