Monday, December 28, 2015

What Are You Hoping For In The New Year

A friend at work recently asked me what I want from 2016; what changes, hopes, and dreams do I have for this coming year. I thought for a moment and then responded with, “I actually have no idea.” I’ve thought about this friend’s question a lot since then. What do I want for 2016?

I want more of God and less of me. I want more faith and less fear, more trust and less doubt, more hope and less worry.
This hasn’t always come easy for me:

I am a planner and maybe, just maybe, have slight control issues.

I’ve been hurt and experienced loss, and as a result have struggled to trust who God is.

I’ve believed that I have to be good enough to experience His promised blessings, and that I often fall short of good enough.

I’ve lost myself in trying to be perfect in the misguided belief that maybe then I can protect myself from pain. 

Over the past few months I have been bringing these parts of myself before God. I have asked Him to give me wisdom, to heal the broken places, and to fill me with the joy and peace that can only come from Him.

At times it feels like I’ve been on this journey for years and I should be further along than I am. But I know though that I am not the same woman I was five years ago, let alone five weeks ago. I stand firm in the truth that the One who began a good work in me, He will not stop until He brings it to completion (Philippians 1:6).

And God is so patient with me. I’m learning how much He not only loves me, but delights in me, just as I am. In all my messiness, my failures, my triumphs, my wins, when I get it right and when I get it wrong — He. Delights. In. Me. This truth is beginning to settle into my soul and it is life giving.

There have been moments where He has met me in tender ways, where His presence feels undeniable. There have also been moments where I’ve only been met with frustrating silence. Through it all, I’m learning that faith isn’t a feeling. It is a foundation and truth I hold onto even when my feelings don’t align. Whether God feels distant or near, He is still God and He is still trustworthy.

Instead of giving me answers to all of my questions, God has been revealing himself to me. He has whispered to my heart, “I may not show you what is ahead, but I will show you who I am and how much I love you.”

I am learning that He is enough, and because of that, I am enough. So as we approach a new year, my desire is to be able to give it all to Him. That the times I question or am afraid will become fewer, and the times I walk forward in faith will increase. My prayer is that He will continue to reveal new pieces of His character to me.

God knows all the desires of this heart of mine, and He lovingly holds them in His hands as He walks with me. He delights in who I am — His beloved Daughter, who He created with a purpose. 

So as we approach 2016, may God reveal His unending and immeasurable love for you. May you rest in knowing that He delights in you.